The original Devil..

door Michèl Nijdam

What is it with people and their sudden obsession with Grace? Seriously, today I overheard my assistants calling her the Second Coming of Christ! Exaggerating much? And just yesterday, I noticed ‘Oh my Grace’ being a trending topic on Twitter! All of a sudden she’s all over the place. Everywhere I look I see this big, wavy ball of orange, dried out fuzz. And it’s disgusting.

“Grace, would you like to release your memoirs?”
“- OK, why not!”
“Oh, and would you like to be on the cover of I-D magazine?”
“- Sure!”
“Also, would you like to do a lecture at St. Martins?”
“- Do you even need to ask? Hell yes!”

I knew I shouldn’t have featured her in the September Issue. What was I thinking?! Since then, the woman has lost it. Lost it! Everytime we’re in a meeting she acts like she’s the Queen B of NYC! And she’s not! I AM! But you don’t see me boasting about it, do you? Ugh, why hasn’t anyone asked me to write a book? Or to be on the cover of a magazine? Why am I not asked to lecture at St. Martins?! It’s not fair!

This shady, shady bitch! I bet she’s planning a coup as we speak!